Fire in a Crowded Workshop
by Hawki
Summary: Novelization: One workshop. Five denizens. And four very different stories pertaining to what the heck had actually happened.
1. Prologue: How the Story Begins

.

 **Sonic the Hedgehog: Fire in a Crowded Workshop**

 **Prologue**

 _Let bygones be bygones._

Someone, at some point, in some place, had said that. Or written that. Or so Miles "Tails" Prower believed, because he'd heard the phrase, or read the phrase, or, for all he knew, had been subconsciously implanted with the knowledge of the phrase in some lost episode of his life that lasted about twelve minutes. It was a phrase that the people of Bygone Island lived by, considering how often Eggman attacked. He was the villain, Team Sonic were the heroes. By the natural law of the universe, the heroes won, bygones were bygones, cue ad break, the next episode of their lives, or something else entirely.

But, sometimes, bygones couldn't be bygones. There were some crimes that could never be forgiven. So while walking along the sands of Bygone Island, watching a butterfly and wondering how many flaps of its wings it would take to cause a cyclone on the other side of the world, and whether it was worth his time and effort to make a time machine to find out, Tails came to a stop. The butterfly kept on flying, the waves lapped on the shore as they always did, but he found himself pivoting to the source of his distress. A smell of burning was carried on the breeze. Following the smell, it barely took him any time to see a plume of black smoke rising into the air. It took him only a second longer to realize where it was coming from.

"My workshop!"

He ran across the sand to his abode, without even using his twin tails as a turbine. What was once second nature to him was now beyond his reach. His workshop was in danger, and if someone had done that deliberately…no matter what the island said, no matter what that person of the past had said, bygones could never be bygones. His gadgets were his love, his life, his past, present, and future combined. If something had happened to them…

He picked up the pace. He'd find out. And then…then…well, he'd decide what to do next. Something appropriate. Something like…like…well, something like what Eggman or Shadow would do. Yeah. That was good enough. Clenching his fists, he ran through the billowing smoke and into the room. Eggman, badniks, whatever. He'd take them all!

 _John Bygone._

Yeah, that was it. John Bygone. An elephant who invented the word bygone and introduced it to the English language. He'd finally remembered. And-

 _Oh._

His fist unclenched, he came to a halt, and stared at the sight before him. Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, and Perci. All of them covered in soot, all of them staring at him with worry. Under normal circumstances, he would have found it gratifying to see that he could be a source of intimidation to people taller and older than he was. But entering his workshop and finding three friends and one acquaintance covered in soot, looking as if their hand had been caught in the cookie jar…these weren't normal circumstances.

"What happened here?" Tails asked.

"Can you be more specific?" Sonic asked.

A plank fell down with a loud 'thud,' as did one of Tails's socks on the line behind the hedgehog. He frowned – all of his socks were ruined, covered in black burn marks. He couldn't go outside wearing something other than red sneakers and white socks. That would be unthinkable.

"Oh, the mess," Sonic continued. "Funny story. It all began at Meh Burger…"

* * *

 _A/N_

 _So as the title and content suggest, this is indeed a novelization of the_ Sonic Boom _episode of the same name. Not the first time I've novelized an episode from a Sonic cartoon/anime, but in the case of_ Heads or Tails _and_ Chaos Control Freaks _, they were the pilot episodes of their respective series, whereas this is episode 43. Truth be told, I ended up writing this as an extension of_ The Birds and the Bandicoots _, which takes place right after this story (more info's on my homepage). Hopefully I'll get to that someday, but I figure this could stand on its own regardless._


	2. Sonic's Story

**.**

 **Sonic the Hedgehog: Fire in a Crowded Workshop**

 **Chapter 1: Sonic's Story**

 _Some people might have said it was messy to eat burgers wearing white gloves. 'Some people,' as far as Sonic the Hedgehog was concerned, didn't know that there were some compromises you could never make, and among them was undertaking any kind of action that would reduce the speed at which food entered his stomach. If he took off his gloves at the table, the world would see his hands. And even if he could bear_ that _nightmare, that still left the issue of wasting time at the table dealing with issues of clothing rather than eating. Besides, what was he going to wear in addition to his sneakers, gloves, and scarf?_

 _So he tore into his Meh Burger with cheese (or what was supposed to be cheese), content in the knowledge that fast, not so filling food would keep him nourished (for an hour or so) and that his orange soda would rehydrate him if needed. After his first bite, he smiled._

" _Adequate burgers today."_

" _Yeah," said Knuckles. "You can barely taste the second newspaper."_

 _Sonic smirked – not so much at the comment, but at the specks of tomato sauce on Knuckles's gloves. As usual, the echidna had messed up. He couldn't even eat properly. Even Amy, who slowly took her first bite, managed to keep herself clean. But while her clothes were in order, the look of revulsion on her face suggested that something was amiss. Sonic watched as she took off her burger's top bun._

" _Ugh!" she exclaimed. "I said no meh-onaise!"_

 _Sonic shrugged and took another bite. "Eh, don't worry," he said. "I'm sure-"_

 _But he couldn't be sure. As Amy let out a yell and overturned the table, Sonic discovered he couldn't be sure of anything in the world. Not if someone like Amy Rose could do that and draw out her piko hammer and let out a war cry, as if imitating Joan of Aardvark. She ran over to another table, still screaming, and as she smashed it into the ground, sent other people away screaming as well._

" _Amy, don't-"_

* * *

"Oh come on," Amy exclaimed. "I don't act like that."

Tails wasn't sure. On one hand, Sonic's account of things did appear to exaggerate Amy's…exaggerated…exagerattedness. On the other hand, Amy Rose was all of those exaggerated…things. Least when it came to Eggman. And puppies. Glancing at Knuckles, he could see that the echidna was just as unsure as he was.

"Hey who's telling this story?" Sonic shot back. "So, where was I? Oh, yeah. "We were so embarrassed at Amy's uncouth behaviour…"

* * *

 _One table after another fell to Amy's hammer as she continued on the war path. Red pools of tomato sauce covered the wooden floor – fated to never be cleaned. To ever be a testament to Amy's rage, and Meh Burger's low hygiene standards. Before long, the patrons of Meh Burger had scattered to the four winds, leaving Amy alone. Victorious, looking over a broken battlefield._

" _Did…that just happen?" Knuckles asked._

 _Sonic just stood there, staring. He'd never seen Amy act like this. Not over something as silly as Miracle Whip left out in the sun for a few hours and served in a Meh Burger. Amy was good with her hammer, but she was still erudite, witty…reasonably attractive…or, maybe more than that, or less than that, or-_

* * *

"...that we left Meh Burger."

Amy rolled her eyes. Knuckles looked uncomfortable. Perci looked confused. Tails looked…well, he didn't know what he looked like, because there wasn't a mirror in here, but if he had to guess, it was impatient. A fire had occurred in his workshop, and so far all he'd learnt was that Amy didn't like Meh-onaise. But, much to his relief, Sonic skipped over the leaving Meh Burger part, and got to-

* * *

 _The beach._

 _The glorious beach of Bygone Island, a.k.a. Seaside Island, a.k.a. "the island." Sonic didn't know why it had two names, nor did he care. All he knew was that he was hungry. He hadn't had his Meh Burger, and unless Eggman showed up, all he could do was kill time with Amy and Knuckles._

" _I'm hungry," Knuckles blurted out._

" _Don't you start," Amy snapped._

 _Silence returned once again, broken only by the sea, the wind, and a trio of rumbling stomachs. Inwardly, Sonic groaned – maybe he should just run on ahead. It was Amy's fault that he hadn't had lunch, and what kind of gi…hedgehog, would ruin that? Sticks might have been insane, but at least she was insane in a predictable manner…relatively speaking. And as for all the other girls who went "squee" every time they saw him would-_

A girl!

 _Up ahead, on a boulder situated by a small pool of mud…a girl. A lavender bandicoot, holding her arm. Beside her, a bicycle broken in two. Perci, or Staci – he couldn't be sure, and they were both equally hot anyway. But slightly less importantly than physical attractiveness, was the fact that Perci/Staci looked like she could use some assistance. The type that only he could provide. So on that note, he rushed forward, a blue blur travelling under a blue sky, screeching to a halt beside the babe and extending an arm._

" _Everything okay miss?"_

 _Perci/Staci got up and looked into his eyes, her own shining like supernovas. "Are you…"_

 _Yep, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Fastest hero in the world, purveyor of justice, righter of wrongs, eater of chili dogs."_

 _Perci/Staci let out a squeal, turning around and wrapping her arms around herself, barely able to contain her excitement. Also muttered something about all her dreams coming true. Sonic smirked – he liked a girl that could appreciate him. He also liked the fact that he'd sussed out that this was Perci, not Staci – it was the little differences that counted. Unlike Knuckles (who, alongside Amy, had finally caught up to him), he was far more perceptive._

 _So when Perci turned around and let out an apology for momentarily letting herself be overcome by the presence of Sonic the Hedgehog (see above for claims to fame, thanks for asking), he said, "don't worry, I'm used to it. Just breathe slowly and tell Uncle Sonic what happened."_

" _Clearly she fell of her bike and hurt her arm," Amy snapped._

" _Oh Amy, don't be jealous because I'm paying attention to another."_

 _Amy let out a growl. Un-alarmed, Sonic said to Perci, "don't worry about her, she kinda has a thing for me."_

" _Who wouldn't?" Perci asked._

" _Exactly. Now let's see what we can do about that bicycle." He walked over to the only echidna in the group. "Knuckles, bring it over here."_

 _Knuckles did so. Well, did so if one substituted "it" with "giant rock that only a lughead like Knuckles could carry."_

" _That's a boulder," Sonic said. "But I'm not angry because I know that you're a simpleton."_

" _Thank you Mister Sonic," Knuckles said, tossing the boulder before lumbering off._

Team Sonic. Heh. They named it after me for a reason.

 _For a moment, he found himself missing Tails – not that Tails had his charm or ruggish good looks, but he could have at least fixed this bicycle faster. But, that regret only lasted for a moment. Here he was, the glue of this team, keeping everything together, and he'd got a hot babe in the nest as well, provided he continued to be the hero that everyone knew him as. So as he saw Amy begin to lecture Perci on bike safety, he stepped in – "Amy, what Perci really needs is a splint for her arm."_

" _Wow," Perci said – those supernovas in her eyes had now filled the galaxies that were her irises. "You sure know how to take charge of every situation."_

 _Sonic winked, but frowned, as he saw that Amy did indeed tie Perci's arm in a splint, albeit using one of the bicycle's own gears to keep it in place. He shook his head – maybe Team Sonic needed a new recruit. One to fill out the role of "the girl," in addition to "the smart one," "the dumb one," "the crazy one," and "the cool one." After all, not only did Perci have a history of protecting the island, but she could add to the team's aesthetics as well._

" _Um, guys?" Knuckles asked, lumbering back. "I couldn't find a bicycle, but maybe one of us could ride this to get one."_

" _This" was Perci's bicycle, or rather, its two halves. "This" was thrown by Knuckles into the mud, and Sonic sighed as he saw it splatter the girls, getting mud all over Perci's scarf – least if Perci joined, the team's IQ average would be improved…or median…or mode…or mean…or heck, where_ was _Tails? He was the one who knew about this stuff._

" _Sorry about your scarf," Knuckles said. "I should've known I'd mess it up. I always do when I'm not under Sonic's direct supervision."_

So true. _He knelt down by the bike. "Huh. As a man, I could fix this with my bare hands. However, it would be quicker with the proper tools. To Tails' workshop!" He walked over to Perci. "Milady?"_

 _Slinging his arm under her good one, he led the bandicoot down the beach. Knuckles, who'd finally learnt how to use his hands, picked up the bike. Amy, as the viper she was, took up the rear, no doubt brewing in the knowledge that all girls were meant to appreciate true heroes. Heroes like him. The fastest thing alive. The smartest thing alive. The best looking thing alive. The-_

* * *

"Um, Sonic?"

Tails saw Sonic blink. He also saw Knuckles, Amy, and Perci looking at him with a mixture of expressions, ranging from bewilderment to frustration.

"Something wrong?" Sonic asked.

"Um, well…" Tails rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, I'm not doubting you're the fastest thing alive…"

"Or best looking," Sonic added.

"Yeah, well, I was just wondering if we could get to my workshop."

"But we are in your workshop." Sonic paused. "Oh, you mean in the story. "Well, anyway…"

* * *

 _Arm in arm, hedgehog and bandicoot walked down the sands of Bygone Island. Beside them, the ocean. Above them, the sky. Both infinite. Both eternal. But neither had the power to break…whatever this was. Sonic didn't know. All he knew was that he had a hot girl at his side, and that was enough. Behind him was Amy and Knuckles, before him was-_

Sticks?

 _The badger came running up to them, appearing as if out of nowhere. Sonic and Perci drew to a halt as Sticks came to a stop as well. If Perci's eyes had been like supernovas, Sticks's were like black holes – deep, unexplorable, realms where logic departed this universe._

" _Hey!" Sticks yelled. "Watch out for that robot! I'll bet she's a spy! Broadcasting our secrets to her mechanical overlords! You know, the ones that make the microwaves blink twelve o' clock! Even though you just did it yesterday!"_

 _With a scream, she ran off down the beach, faster than she had arrived. All four of the travellers stood there in still silence. A silence that not even the waves or wind could break._

" _Don't worry about her," said Sonic eventually. "She's actually very nice."_

* * *

"Sonic!"

"What?"

Tails watched as Sonic looked at Amy, who'd let out the exclamation. Knuckles was looking at Sonic, and Perci was looking more bemused than anyone.

"Sticks did not say that."

"Yeah she did."

"No, she said-"

"Guys!" Tails exclaimed. "Can we _please_ get to the actual workshop?!"

* * *

" _Tails?"_

 _Sonic opened the door to the workshop, finding it bereft of any organic life, but filled with life of the non-organic kind. Well, not that tools were life, but given how Tails interacted around his 'babies', sometimes he wondered. After all, there was that incident with the plane not too long ago…_

" _Guess he isn't here," Sonic said, as he led the gang inside. His ears pricked up as he heard something pop, followed by an electrical buzz, but he thought nothing of it. "Well, no matter. I'll heroically repair this bike with only my bare hands. And a welding laser," he added, picking one up from a work bench. "Amy, you tend to poor Perci's injury. Knuckles, you clean that scarf you so carelessly ruined."_

 _Both of them obliged. Amy began treating Perci's arm, Knuckles placed the two halves of the bike on the work bench before heading off to dry the scarf. Sonic meanwhile put on a welding mask and began patching Perci's bike together._

Heh. And Tails says this kind of stuff is complicated.

 _For a moment, he wondered where Tails was. A second later, he reflected that it didn't matter. He was Sonic the Hedgehog – fastest thing alive, coolest thing alive, best-looking thing alive. All those things meant that handiwork like this was just another run across the island._

" _This heating pad isn't working." Sonic shot Amy a glance, who'd fixed such a pad over Perci's arm. "Knuckles, get Perci a pillow."_

" _You're not the boss of me," Knuckles retorted. "Sonic is."_

" _But I'm bossy and overbearing and I need everyone to do as I say to compensate for my own insecurity!"_

 _Sonic saw Knuckles throw a pillow from the side of the room he was on. It quickly arrived in Amy's hands, but she didn't look grateful._

" _Don't throw it to me! Give it to me nicely!"_

 _Or sound grateful, he reflected, as she threw it back at Knuckles. Who threw it back at her, only to get the pillow again, only to throw it Amy, who ducked, causing it to hit Perci, and-_

" _Kids, behave yourselves! This is why we can't have nice things!"_

Like Meh Burgers.

 _Amy and Knuckles kept at it. Shutting off the welding laser, Sonic realized that it was time to take charge. He was the leader of this team, and if that meant stepping up to be the leader that only he, Sonic, coolest, best looking, fastest, and most intelligent creature could be, then-_

Wait, is something burning?

 _Something was. Knuckles, in his stupidity, had put Perci's scarf in an industrial kiln to dry it. Only it hadn't so much dried it, it had incinerated it. And it hadn't so much incinerated it, it had started a-_

" _Fire!" Perci exclaimed._

 _Knuckles and Amy were now wrestling over the pillow, even as the fire rose around them. Quick as a bolt of lightning, Sonic ran to the workshop's sink to get a bucket. With the speed that only he, Sonic, the…all that stuff Hedgehog could muster, he ran back and forth, pulling water over the fire as it spread. The water by itself wasn't much. A lesser hero, like those around him, couldn't have hoped to stop the fire with just one bucket. But with his speed, agility, and intelligence, he was able to put it out. Sure, he was covered in soot, the walls were scorched, and the socks Tails had hung on his clothesline had gone to the same place Perci's scarf had, but he'd done it. He'd saved the day. Again. Given the look that Perci gave him, her supernovas now covering the entire universe, it looked like he'd got the girl as well._

 _Was there ever any doubt?_

* * *

"So I stepped into action, Sonic style, and put out the fire. Which must have been caused by Knuckles putting that scarf in the kiln." Sonic folded his blackened arms, and smiled through blackened lips. "Any questions?"

Tails supposed not. Sonic's story had some…interesting, elements, but after all, this was Sonic. Sonic saving the day happened on a weekly basis, sometimes in periods as short as twelve minutes. Saving his workshop from a fire would have been par for the course. Not that Knuckles and Amy's described actions were par for the course (but weren't in a sand pit either), but-

"That's not what happened. I'll tell you the real story."

Sonic's head turned, as did Tails's. So did everyone else's bar Knuckles, who had made such a claim.

"The _real_ story?" Sonic exclaimed.

"Indeed, the real story," Knuckles declared, sticking out his chest like a superhero.

"Um, but Sonic just-"

"Silence!" Knuckles said, interrupting the fox. "And listen to my tale." He cleared his throat. "It all began at Meh Burger…"


	3. Knuckles's Story

.

 **Sonic the Hedgehog: Fire in a Crowded Workshop**

 **Chapter 2: Knuckles's Story**

 _Under starlit night, the wind his only companion, Knuckles the Echidna set sail over the waters of eternity. His first mate had turned in for the night, but his vigil could never end. What other captain was there who was brave enough to explore such majesty, for so long, and so far from home? Who was daring and mighty enough to forsake the comforts of land, for the adventure and perils of the high seas? Who could navigate by sun and star, and carry on with only the song of fish and seagull? Only one. One captain, who would never return until his task was complete. The one who would forsake the pleasures that entranced lesser mortals, for his eyes had only sight for one. The White Whale, which had sunk the ships of those less mighty than he. The White Whale, who in her anger, had sent men and menus down to Davey Jones's Locker. The White Whale, whom he had set eyes on only mere days ago where as so many had before him, he had behold her fury._

 _Alas, such was his calling. Guardian of the world, its greatest hero, the finest captain to sail the…however many seas there were. The-_

* * *

"Knuckles, we're supposed to be talking about my workshop."

"I'm getting there," Knuckles retorted.

Tails wondered about that.

* * *

" _Adequate burgers today."_

" _Yeah. You can barely taste the shredded newspaper."_

 _As uncouth as First Mate Sonic was, he was at least correct in his appraisal of the delicacies that had graced their table. Delicacies that his first mate tore into, despoiling his honour, and dragging down the honour his captain with him. His gloves, his fur, splattered with tomato sauce, as if blood itself had been spilt._

" _Ugh! I said no meh-onaise!"_

Avast! Could it be she? The White Whale?

 _Indeed, the mighty beast had surfaced, and was tearing through the other ships moored by. None could stand against her wrath, as one vessel after another was turned over. Sent to the bottom of the sea, out of touch of sky or breeze, never to be seen by those who sought the touch of sun. Days of searching, and now, finally, he had found his quarry. Sonic of course was useless – whenever the White Whale surfaced, he became enraptured, unable to lift finger or foot to put the beast down. But he, Knuckles, hero and explorer, guardian of the seas, would restore order to the world. He, the greatest explorer in history known or unknown, would save the day. Unfazed, he stood forward…_

 _But alas, it was too late. The ships had been sunk. The port master had fled. The White Whale stood alone, blowing off steam instead of water, victorious in her wretched victory. All he could do now was apprehend her, to ensure that such destruction was never repeated again. Once, he had guarded an island. Now, it was his duty, his burden, to guard the sea. A burden that he would bear with grace and dignity, to his end of days, or indeed, the ending of the world itself._

* * *

"So, the White Whale had just trashed Meh Burger."

"Wait, I'm the White Whale?" Amy exclaimed.

"Shush!"

Tails was barely listening. White Whale, White Whale…he'd heard of that before. Something about a buck that loved stars, who ate peas, while going on a sea adventure to find the White Whale before it was turned into a robot. Or something. He'd check the library later once Knuckles got done with his story.

"So we were heading back home when we came across Perci…"

 _If_ he ever got done with his story.

* * *

 _Across the sands they sailed. Captain Knuckles, First Mate Sonic, and the White Whale beside them. Ally? If only. Prey? Never – he was far too merciful for that. But while the port of Meh Burger had been destroyed, he could show mercy. Perhaps in time, the White Whale could become a valuable member of his crew – after all, it wasn't as if the bar was set that high._

" _I'm hungry," Sonic blurted out._

 _He shot his first mate a look. Indeed, his stomach rumbled with the sound and fury of a hurricane, but men of the sea were meant to be hardy. Strong. Resilient. Able to withstand that which beset them from the outside, as well as the cravings of within. Food, water, and that of the soul. For up ahead, beyond their forward bow, was-_

A girl?

 _Nay, she was not. Fair she was, lying on a boulder, she could only be described as a mermaid. A pool of mud was to one side of the rock, a broken bicycle to the other. And she, the fair maiden, was holding her arm, as if injured. Knuckles's eyes narrowed – foul deeds had been afoot here. He would have to take his time and-_

" _Dibs!"_

 _He stretched out his arm, but alas, he was too late to stop First Mate Sonic climbing into a rowboat and running along the sand to the mermaid, whose radiance already eclipsed that of the midday sun._

 _So alongside the White Whale, he brought his ship in closer. Enough to hear the declarations of his first mate, and see him bow as well._

" _Hi. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog."_

" _Never heard of ya."_

 _Knuckles drew his ship closer – a fair breeze was blowing, though not as fair as the light within the mermaid's eyes._

" _But who's your friend?" she asked._

 _A second sun was kindled; such was the glory of his smile. One that Knuckles returned."I'm just a humble echidna. Which is why I won't brag about my boyish charm, unimaginable strength, and ability to think real good. You know, smartnesswise."_

 _The mermaid giggled. But as fair as her song was, dissonance crept into the world. Sonic, had tried to pick up the two halves of the mermaid's bicycle. Tried, and failed. But where his first mate had fumbled, he would succeed. And indeed he did, picking up the vehicle's two halves with but one arm. Lighter than most of his plunder, yet more precious than all the jewels and gold in the ocean._

" _Wow," breathed the mermaid. "Muscles and brain smartness."_

" _I know," Knuckles said, before Sonic let out a yelp and fell down – he hadn't relinquished his grip on the mermaid's vessel, and plunged into the sandy sea instead._

" _Medic!" Knuckles called out. "Splint up this pretty lady's arm!"_

" _I hope I can live up to your expectations, Captain Knuckles," said the White Whale._

 _Knuckles hoped so as well. For seeing this beauty before him had reminded him of something – that the most radiant pearl could be found in the most grotesque of oysters, and the most bountiful treasures could be found in the darkest of depths. Perhaps the White Whale could atone for her past sins as a healer, bringing aid instead of destruction. Or perhaps not, as she instead bound-_

" _That's a leg," Knuckles said, seeing that the mermaid had temporarily grown legs, and that one of them was bandaged. sighed, and flexed his left arm. "Behold…this!...is an arm."_

 _Muscles bulged, like an island erupting from the sea._

" _Wow," said the mermaid. "You really are the whole package."_

" _And here's the gift-wrapping." Now, both arms were flexed, and the White Whale let out a sigh, water coming out of her blow-hole, before correctly binding the mermaid's injured arm. As ruthless and destructive as she could be, perhaps there was hope for the White Whale yet. More hope than his first mate at least, who was flexing his arms as well. His long, skinny, ever so blue arms that did nothing but knock the mermaid's bicycle into the mud, splattering both her and her scarf with the gunk._

" _Sonic, you clumsy oaf! Perpetual second banana! Look what you've done!"_

" _I'm sorry Captain…"_

" _Apologies can wait." Taking a deep breath, Knuckles stuck an arm into the mud, picking up the bike. With that in hand, he extended his other one to the mermaid. "Come, my lady. We must go to Casa del Tails to repair your bicicleta before Sonic does any further damage."_

 _The mermaid took his arm, and both set sail. The White Whale behind them, as was the wind. The breeze blew strong, the sun shone brightly, and Captain Knuckles rejoiced._

" _Hey guys, wait for meee!" Sonic whined._

 _Almost, rejoiced. For it was his burden to look after all the creatures of sea and land. From the most mighty to the most wretched._

 _Even those as inept as his first mate._

* * *

"So, with the mermaid in hand…"

"I'm a bandicoot."

"…the White Whale following…"

"Knuckles, I find that offensive."

"…and my first mate lagging behind…"

"Knuckles, I'm the fastest thing alive. I don't lag behind anything."

"Quiet! Now, as we…"

Tails just sat there, enraptured. Who knew that Knuckles had such an amazing grasp of the English language? This was incredible.

And Casa Del Tails? Heck, who could find fault with a name like that?

* * *

 _A storm was coming._

 _It would be many days before they would make port at Casa Del Tails. Days before the mermaid's arm and vessel could be fixed. Days that he would love to make full use of, whether it be instructing the White Whale in the art of medicine, or instructing his first mate in the art of seamanship. Alas, it was not to be. Someday, the mermaid would have to return to the ocean. Swim into its depths, whereas he, Captain Knuckles, could only stay on top of the divide that separated their worlds, before going on to protect both. His burden. One that he would shoulder with strength of spirit as well as body, but a burden nonetheless. A burden which meant that he could not avoid the oncoming storm, but would have to meet it head on._

 _For that was what Sticks the Badger was – a storm. The scourge of every sailor, land-lubber, and any and all who clung to sanity in this world. The badger meant no harm, but she was nonetheless the scourge of the sea. The bane of the sane, the one who was both pistol and sword, setting off cannons wherever she trod._

" _Steady," Knuckles called out to his crew. "Steady!"_

 _Despite his first mate's whimpering, the ship stayed on close. The mermaid clutched his arm tighter. He gave her a reassuring smile – she would be safe. He swore it. Even as the one called Sticks came before them, and let out her song. A song not fair like that of a sea siren, but with all the danger of luring one towards rocks. For Sticks herself was the rocks. Scylla and Charybdis both._

" _Hey! Be careful of that alien! She'll abduct our livestock, phone home from our houses, and turn us all into pie people! She's...a goodful! A goodful!"_

 _And with that, the song ended. A song followed by the sound of a long, tormented scream, as Sticks returned to the seas that spawned her. Sighing, Knuckles looked at the mermaid. She who bore the name of Perci. She whom he would always protect._

" _Don't worry about her," he said. "She's actually very nice."_

* * *

"Oh come on!" Sonic exclaimed. "Sticks didn't say anything about aliens! She was talking about robots."

"Shush," said Knuckles. "This story has yet to be completed."

"Story? Oh puh-lease."

"Sonic, knock it off," Tails said. "Just let Knuckles continue."

"Finally, a worthy seaman," Knuckles exclaimed before clearing his throat. "So, anyway, as we approached Tails's workshop…"

 _Wait, wasn't that Casa Del Tails?_

* * *

 _After many days and many nights, full of adventures that would require multiple eleven minute episodes to tell if life was confined to a TV screen, they had finally arrived at Casa Del Tails. Arrived, and found it abandoned. Nothing to herald their ship arriving in port bar a pop followed by an electrical buzz. Knuckles disembarked and looked around – land. But not as he knew it._

" _Sonic! See to the mermaid's bicycle. I shall attend to her scarf."_

" _Aye-aye Captain."_

 _The crew fanned out to do their duties. His first mate picked up a welder, while he set to washing his ward's scarf. The White Whale meanwhile frolicked about within the workshop, as if adrift at sea. For a moment, he was afraid of the damage that she might do, but it was fear that was misplaced –clearly her days of destruction were over. Adrift she might be, but nonetheless, peace had taken chaos's place for her. Now, there was only one thing for this captain to do._

" _Ow!"_

 _Or more than one thing. His first mate had singed his finger on the welding torch, and was now running around blowing on it._

" _Sonic, can't you do anything right?" he exclaimed, before sighing. He'd have to deal with the mermaid's bicycle himself. But now, as he took the scarf out of the bucket of water before him, he had a separate task to complete._

" _Your scarf will look brand new," he told her. "But it'll never look as lovely as its owner."_

 _The mermaid blushed, but said nothing. After all, what more needed to be said between the two of them now? He put the scarf in a kiln, and wondered…what if the time had come to stay to land, and leave the sea behind? To let others take his place as guardians of the ocean, while he devoted himself to more simple pursuits? What if…what if at last, he could move on? Perhaps even find love?_

" _How does this heating pad work?"_

 _His eyes drifted to the white whale, whose flippers were fiddling with a heating pad. Letting out a snort from her blowhole, she tossed it into a pile of papers._

No peace then.

 _He would always have to be there to keep the White Whale in check. He would always have to keep his first mate from making a mess of things. A time would come for him to return to the ocean, and forsake all bonds of fellowship with those who stuck to land. But, that time was not yet here. Picking up a pillow, he returned his gaze to the mermaid, as radiant as ever._

" _A pillow, for my maiden fair?"_

 _She looked up at him, her eyes as deep as the ocean, and as luminous as the night. But dawn broke the night through a burning sunrise, as the White Whale snatched the pillow from his hands._

" _Hey, I'm the medic! I'll give her the pillow!"_

" _I want to give her the pillow so I could be more like my hero Knuckles!"_

 _His first mate had walked the plank, gone off the deep end, and jumped the shark. He and the White Whale began wrestling over the pillow. Once, they had been enemies. Now, their enmity had resurfaced with the force of an island emerging from the sea, as if Atlantis itself had been raised. He stared, seeing the fires of Hell itself burn in their eyes. Smelt brimstone, sulphur, burning wood…_

What?

 _Indeed, Hell itself had risen to claim the ocean. Fire erupted from the floor, causing his first mate to jump into the White Whale's flippers, both of them cowering in terror. For a moment, he was tempted to follow his first mate's example – to give into cowardice. To run, with the wind of his back, and the visage of shame ever before him. Shame, and eternal shame, yet still, life able to be lived._

 _But his eyes turned to the mermaid. The one he had taken from the boulder. The one who'd he taken under his arm. He'd taken her this far – how could he live with himself if he turned his back on them now? No – he had to quench the fire, lest the sea boil, and his dignity be cast to the wind. He would save her. He would save them all. He was Captain Knuckles, and he always had a card to play…_

 _He blew. Blew with the force of the Roaring Forties, but with the chill of the seas south of them. Blew a stream of ice, with enough power to lock all the seas in a solid state. Blew, so that the fires of the underworld returned to their dark abode. Blew, so that his first mate and the White Whale were saved. Only then did he cease, reining his powers in._

 _The mermaid placed her hand on his. And he smiled, his teeth shining as surely as her eyes. And at last, he understood._

 _He had made port. He had come home._

* * *

"So I put out the fire using my ice breath. Probably started when Amy threw the heating pad on those old newspapers. She's not very brainsmart."

Tails just stared. He wasn't sure where to start. Ice-breath? Mermaids? "Brainsmart?" Sonic's account of events had some leaps of logic, but this? This was outright fiction. The type of fiction that lonely people created after watching cartoons and saying "I can do better" before posting it on the Internet. Fanfiction, in other words. Which, to be fair, might give Knuckles a promising career in the publishing industry, given his sudden spike of eloquence, but not in journalism. Least not that of the yellow kind.

"That's not what happened at all!" Amy exclaimed.

Tails's eyes shot to the two hedgehogs in the room – both of whom were covered in soot, both of whom were looked miffed, and neither of whom looked like whales or any other kind of aquatic mammal.

"Do you doubt my account?" Knuckles asked. "Did the fire addle your senses so that your blowhole was closed, akin to your ears?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm not a whale," Amy said.

"Not yet," Sonic murmured.

"Second of all, it's become clear that I'm the only one who actually knows what happened."

"Yeah, it's how I described it," Sonic said.

"No, it isn't," Amy snapped. She looked at Tails, and for a moment, he was reminded of fire. The type of fire that Knuckles had described.

"So let's get on with this," she said. "No more stories, no more lies, no more fabrications."

 _Lies and fabrications are the same thing_ , Tails thought to himself. But he remained silent. Wherever the truth was, he'd at least got a good story out of this.

"Now then," Amy said. "It all began at Meh Burger…"


	4. Amy's Story

.

 **Sonic the Hedgehog: Fire in a Crowded Workshop**

 **Chapter 3: Amy's Story**

" _Adequate burgers today."_

" _Yeah. You can barely taste the shredded newspaper."_

 _Amy had to take their word for it, as she watched Sonic and Knuckles tear into their Meh Burgers. Knuckles got tomato sauce all over his gloves, and Sonic fared slightly better. Key word on "slightly."_

Why do we even come here? _She wondered._ There have to be better places on this island for an afternoon lunch.

 _There were, but they cost money, took longer, and if every other member of Team Sonic was content with junk food, then she'd have to bear that cross until Sonic matured and realized…certain things about her, himself, and home-made cooking. But that would take time. So before that time arrived, she'd eat her Meh Burger and-_

Ugh.

 _It tasted wrong. Not "bereft of any nutritional value" wrong, just plain normal wrong. Lifting up the top bun, she found the culprit._

" _Ugh! I said no meh-onaise!"_

 _Getting to her feet, she-_

* * *

"Amy, can we please move on?"

Tails saw Amy look at him with the gaze of one of Eggman's bots. One of the dangerous ones. Like, Metal Sonic-level dangerous. Nonetheless, he stood his ground.

"I get it, things didn't go well at Meh Burger. But I don't think-"

"But it's important that you know what really happened."

"We all know what happened – you freaked out, we got kicked out, and I'm short of one lunch," Sonic said.

Amy's red eyes shifted towards Sonic's green ones. Tails barely noticed though - something was bugging him. Not so much that he'd so far got too notably different stories as to what had caused the fire, but rather something else. Like he was missing something…

"Fine," Amy said. "We all agreed the service at Meh Burger was terrible-"

"I didn't agree to that."

"…so we left," she said, ignoring Sonic's outburst. "That's when we ran into Perci, with her little damsel in distress act…"

* * *

" _I'm hungry," Knuckles said."_

" _Don't you start."_

 _Amy wasn't in a good mood, and Knuckles and Sonic knew it. Bad enough that Meh Burger had proven its incompetence (again), but then they'd had the nerve to kick them out after she'd made her complaint. All she'd done was pull out her piko-piko hammer, next thing she knew, the heroes of Bygone Island had been left out to dry, with no food, no water, and no refund. The sun glared down on her, and she glared back at it – this wouldn't stand. The people of Bygone Island shouldn't have to tolerate such shoddy service. Soon as she got home, she'd write a letter to the mayor, organize a petition, rallies, news interviews, and not rest until justice had been served for her and all society. Modern women had to take the lead, and Amy was nothing if not a modern woman. Unlike certain members of society. Members who just lay there on boulders out in the sun, waiting for some hunky man to save them. Case in point, Perci the Bandicoot. Even through the sun's glare, she could see her, waving a red scarf around as if it were a distress signal. And even over the sound of waves lapping onto the beach, she could hear her cry for help._

" _I've seem to have fallen from my bicycle and injured my little old arm. If only there was some heroic gentleman who would rescue poor little me."_

 _Amy scowled – she'd met Perci a few times, the first of which had been when they'd been fighting to save the island from Lyric. Back when Perci had claimed that her family had protected the island for decades, and wanted Team Sonic to prove themselves. Now, all that bravado had become as empty as her stomach. Cripes, she was even doing some ridiculous southern belle accent. Her bicycle was broken in two, sure, but what did she need hunky boys for?_

 _And damn it, it was working, she reflected, as she saw Sonic and Knuckles ran up to the bandicoot. Sonic got there first, but the distance wasn't so much that it took Knuckles much longer to cross the finish line the siren had laid out for them. The prize? Her, getting their dignity. Scowling, Amy walked over, hearing Sonic and Knuckles's sniggers._

" _Would one of you handsome young men kindly retrieve my bicycle?" Perci asked._

It's right beside you! _Amy thought to herself. But it didn't matter, as Sonic and Knuckles ran over to the bike and began wrestling over it. Shaking her head, she watched as they fumbled and dropped it into a pool of mud, splattering Perci's scarf. Amy's scowl lessened slightly – as manipulative as Perci was being, no-one deserved to have their clothes ruined. And after all, Perci had indeed injured her arm, so what kind of hero was she if she didn't do something about that?_

A sane one.

 _Ignoring the inner voice that mentioned Sonic far more than she liked, Amy walked over. "Oh you poor sweet thing," she said. "Is your arm hurt?"_

" _Broken," Perci wailed. "I fell off my bike, and…and…" She made a hyperventilating sound that made it clear she wasn't really hyperventilating at all. "I'm sorry. Just the thought of life with only one arm…how will I live? How will I dress? Who would possibly want one like me?"_

" _There there, it's alright," Amy said. She looked at Sonic and Knuckles, who were now fishing the bike out of the mud. "Here, allow me to tend to your wounds."_

 _Taking out some bandages that she'd have usually reserved for the aftermath of a battle with Eggman (not that Team Sonic ever needed medical help), she bound Perci's arm in a sling. She could tell that it was nothing – barely more than a bruise. She wanted nothing more to do with this, but Sonic and Knuckles were under the bandicoot's spell, and there was no breaking it. Not until they sorted this out and left. After that, she could have a proper lunch, a shower, get started on her Boycott Meh-Burger campaign, and then spend the evening playing Fuzzy Puppies while watching_ Porcupine Passion _._

" _Now then," she said. "How about we fix your bike? I know just where to get it fixed."_

" _You do?" Perci asked, sounding almost sincere._

 _Amy forced a smile. "Yep. Tails's workshop. Just up the beach."_

 _Perci looked at the boys. "Either of you want to lend a hand?"_

 _They did. All four of them. And Amy sighed – she'd hoped that Perci might have had the dignity to go there by herself, but that was apparently too much to ask for._

 _It was going to be a long day._

* * *

 _Huh. So, Perci is a mermaid in Knuckles's story, a siren in Amy's story, and a…_

Had Sonic called her anything other than a bandicoot? He couldn't remember. Looking at the way Perci was glaring at Amy, if he had to call her something now, it would be…a cyclops, maybe? Granted, she had two eyes, not one, and the cyclops didn't shoot lasers out of his eye…not that Perci was actually doing that, but still, eye lasers…that wasn't a bad idea for an invention come to think of it. A bit of surgery here, an optical implant there, and voila. Eye lasers!

"So, as we walked down the beach…"

Well, eye lasers could wait. The mystery of what had happened at his workshop was another story.

A third story, to be precise.

* * *

 _Knuckles had won the battle for the bike, if 'won' was really the word to use. Amy felt that it wasn't. Better Knuckles than Sonic be subjected to humiliation, but an ideal scenario would have not to get involved with the siren at all, still be at Meh Burger, and in an even more ideal scenario, be talking with Sonic about the future. A future that didn't involve manipulative bandicoots, but only members of the family Erinaceidae. A family that badgers didn't belong to._

Sticks?

 _There she was, running up to them like a madwoman. Which wasn't out of the blue, come to think of it. And thinking about this even more, Amy felt her heart do a double beat – Sticks could help her. Sticks was her friend. Sticks was the most honest person that she knew, and as insane as her ramblings were, she might be able to get through to the boys that the temptress walking around them was Morgana 2.0 – seductive, manipulative, and leading them to an early grave that wasn't located in Avalon. Or maybe not, since Sonic didn't like to talk about that time he wielded a sword. But, as Sticks grew close, those hopes evaporated as surely as the sweat on her forehead did. Sticks was here to speak, not listen._

" _Watch out for that government agent! It starts with jury duty, and zoning ordinances, and before you know it, boom! Our tax dollars are benefiting others! And not us!"_

" _Don't pay attention to her," Amy told Perci. "She's actually very nice."_

 _Sticks ran off screaming. Amy stuck out a hand to catch her, but it was already too late. Sticks might have been an insane badger with little understanding of the tax system and the differences between capitalism and socialism, but she was a_ fast _insane badger with little understanding of the tax system and the differences between capitalism and socialism._

" _Well then," Amy said, "shall we continue?"_

 _But as soon as they got the siren's bike fixed, the sooner she could find Sticks and talk to her about something far more pleasant than the issue she was faced with now._

* * *

"Well?" Amy asked.

Tails blinked, but she wasn't talking to him. She was looking at Sonic.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to say 'oh, that isn't what Sticks said, stop getting the story wrong?'"

Sonic shrugged. "You've got the story wrong so far, why waste a piece of good fiction now?"

Amy shot him a glare, but nonetheless kept talking. And Tails went back to only vaguely listening.

He had a pretty good idea how this would end.

* * *

" _Hello? Anyone home?"_

 _Amy gingerly opened the door to the workshop. It wasn't Tails's actual home, but he spent so much time in here, it might as well have been. But home or no home, she wasn't going to just barge in here unannounced._

" _Guess not."_

 _Announcements over, she walked in. She heard a pop followed by an electrical buzz, but thought nothing of it._

" _Finally," Perci exclaimed, sitting down on a bench. "That dreadful heat, that scorching sand…I don't think I could have lasted a moment longer."_

 _Sonic and Knuckles opened their mouths, but Amy beat them to it. "You poor sweet thing," she said. "You rest here. I'll get a heating pad to make you more comfortable."_ And get you out of here sooner. _"Knuckles, will you please clean this scarf?" She handed out Perci's scarf, and at a speed to rival Sonic, the echidna snatched it and began pouring water from a tap into a bucket._

" _And Sonic…"_

 _The only other hedgehog in the room snapped to attention. Amy's eyes drifted from his deep, green…completely normal eyes, and fixed them on the bike._

"… _maybe we should just wait for Tails."_

" _No way, I can totally fix this." He winked at Perci. "Watch this babe."_

 _While Sonic began work on the bike with a welding laser, Perci was dabbing away at non-existent sweat. Amy was sweating too – anger had that effect on her. When had Sonic ever fixed anything for her? When had he ever been at her beck and call? When had this floozy decided to play the damsel in distress card and-_

Relax. Just relax.

 _It would all be over soon, she told herself. She wouldn't descend to Perci's level. Sonic would do his thing, Knuckles would dry the scarf, Perci would likely make a final attempt at enthralling them in her garden of thorns, fail, and then life would be back to normal. So in that knowledge of a happy future, Amy smiled at Perci, and said, "hang on dear. I'll get your heating pad."_

 _She walked across the workshop, breathing in the silence. Silence bar the sound of Knuckles splashing water and Sonic's welding laser, but hey, about as close as silent as things could get right now._

" _My poor little arm is aching so," Perci said, breaking the silence, and the concrete wall that Amy had formed in her mind to keep herself in check. "If only I had a cushion on which to rest it."_

 _Amy spun round, opening her mouth, but drawing herself back. A modern woman knew where to draw the line. So far, the line hadn't been crossed. Even as Knuckles ran off to get a pillow. Even as Sonic exclaimed "let me give it to her," running after the echidna and tossing the welding torch aside. Even as the two boys began fighting over the pillow that Knuckles had picked up._

Who keeps a pillow in a workshop anyway?

 _She sighed, watching the two men fight over the over-grown cushion. It seemed that when women had broken the glass ceiling, some of the shards had entered the brains of the opposite sex. And Perci was lapping it all up, watching her gladiators battle for her sake. The patriarchy replaced by a matriarchy, and the matriarchy was making things worse for everyone. Through blood and fire, she-_

What?

 _The smoke had come first, but the fire soon followed. Fire that began consuming the wooden floor. Fire that caused Perci to shriek and jump up on top of the bench, waving her arm around in a noodle-like manner. Yelling at the boys to save her. Boys who were now screaming in turn. Lyric, Eggman, Shadow…all of them were foes that Sonic could handle. But fire, just like water, was apparently his Achilles heel. And Knuckles was faring no better. And, she thought, as sweat accumulated on her brow, and soot in her fur, the fire was hot. Really hot. So hot that she considered running then and there…_

 _But only for a moment. Only long enough to give her the slightest moment of hesitation before grabbing a fire extinguisher and dousing the flames that had spread. Within moments, the fire had been put out. Leaving an audience of three scared mammals, and one who stood there with a smile on her face. A smile directed to Perci most of all._

And that, my dear, is how we girls take care of ourselves.

* * *

"So as the only mature one in the room, I extinguished the fire, which started because Sonic forgot to turn off his welding laser."

"You're making that up!" Sonic exclaimed.

"You were reckless with your tools!"

"Who puts a scarf in a kiln?!"

"I can't help being attractive, it's a blessing and a curse!"

Knuckles had entered the debate between Sonic and Amy, but the debate showed no signs of slowing down as a result. If anything, it became more intense. Two hedgehogs, one echidna, zero solutions in sight.

"Um, guys, if we could-"

"Me me me! It's never about us!"

"You're more worried about scarfs than fighting Eggman!"

"I do have ice breath, you guys just never let me use it!"

But if there was a solution, it wasn't from Tails's attempt to intervene. Right now, what had happened in his workshop barely mattered, at least not if the disintegration of Team Sonic was the price to be paid. And if that happened, what then? Maybe he could start up his own group of heroes called Fox Populi or something, but he'd spent his days as a sidekick. He might have to re-train to be a team leader, and that would leave less time to work in his workshop, not to mention-

"Enough."

Everyone stopped talking. Tails stopped pondering. All eyes turned to Perci, who was just standing there, arms folded. Staring at Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles through sooted eyes, her own having a fire within them. One that glowed less brightly than Amy's, but in its own way, was no less intense. The type of eyes that were not of a siren, but rather of a titan.

"Unbelievable," she continued. "You'd think with three stories, one of you would get it right. Now let me tell you how it really happened."

Tails opened his mouth, but closed it. The rest of Team Sonic was similarly silent.

 _Fourth time lucky, right?_

He hoped so.


	5. Perci's Story

.

 **Sonic the Hedgehog: Fire in a Crowded Workshop**

 **Chapter 4: Perci's Story**

"So," Perci began. "I had a minor accident with my bicycle, when-"

"Hold it!"

All eyes turned to Knuckles as the echidna stepped forward. Hand to his chin, forehead deep in thought. Basically, atypical behaviour for the echidna.

"Yeah?" Perci asked. "What's wrong?"

"Meh Burger," Knuckles declared smugly. "You left out Meh Burger."

"I don't eat at Meh Burger. I wasn't at Meh Burger. I don't even like Meh Burger."

"Who doesn't like Meh Burger?" Sonic murmured.

Tails didn't know. Well, he did – Perci the Bandicoot. But he could sworn he'd seen her…well, maybe it was her twin sister Staci. Or heck, even the third triplet that half the people of Bygone Island believed existed.

" _Anyway_ ," Perci repeated. "Back to the story."

* * *

Seriously? I had to crash _here?_

 _Perci didn't believe in Lady Luck, but decided that if she did exist, the floozy had a lot of explaining to do. Because one moment she was riding her bike along the sands of Bygone Island. The moment after that, she was being flung over the handlebars of her bike as its wheels got stuck in the sand. Which might not have been so bad if the moment after that hadn't involved her banging her left arm against a boulder. And to top it all off, her bike had been snapped in two at its centre. So as she rested on the boulder, holding her arm and wishing she'd packed some water, Perci let out a silent curse to Lady Luck. And then another one._

 _But not a third, as across the beach, she could see three figures approaching her. One echidna, two hedgehogs, three members of Team Sonic in total. Maybe Lady Luck did exist and was shining on her. Or maybe it was the sun. Damn thing had her working up a sweat. Either way, while Team Sonic spent most of their time destroying Eggman's robots, she figured that they had to be good for other things than that. After all, they did beat Lyric. And-_

 _Sonic was there in front of her. One moment he was walking, the next he was running, and less than a moment after that, he'd arrived. Standing before her with a smile that was a bit too cheesy, but she'd take it over the Gogobas guilt tripping her again._

" _Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog," he said, doing a little bow. "Hero extraordinaire."_

Um, I know who you are, everyone does. _"You don't happen to have a wrench or some tools I can use to fix my bike?" Perci asked._

" _No," said Knuckles, who'd just walked over. "But maybe I can interest you in some, ahem, gift wrapping?"_

 _He flexed his muscles. Large, bulky, somewhat impressive muscles, but muscles all the same. The same type of muscles that Perci always saw when boys with more brawn than brain tried to impress her._

" _That's okay," she said. "Just want help with my bike."_

" _I'll fix it!" Sonic yelled._

" _No, I will!"_

 _Both the hedgehog and echidna ran over to her bike. Perci raised her good arm in a vain attempt to stop them – if they could fix it, great, but how would they even do that without any tools?_

" _You're just loving this aren't you?"_

 _Perci's eyes swivelled to look at Amy Rose, who was in the universal position all beings knew as 'lecture mode.'_

" _Having men fight over you?" Amy continued. A modern woman can take care of herself."_

" _I_ can _take care of myself," Perci said. "But like I said, I don't have any tools, and I hurt my arm."_

" _I suppose you need me to bandage that up for you," Amy snapped._

" _Nah, just a bruise."_

 _Amy let out a sigh, and at a speed to rival Sonic, quickly bandaged her bruised arm. "There," she snapped. "All done."_

" _Um, thanks…" Perci said. She had to admit, Amy had done a good job, but it was still an unnecessary one. But unlike Sonic and Knuckes, she at least hadn't made things any worse, for they were wrestling with her bike. Both of them lost their grip, and both pieces of the bike fell into a pool of mud, splattering Perci and her scarf._

Wonderful, _she thought to herself._ Just wonderful.

 _Well, the mud would easily come off in some water, but that would have to wait. "Look," Perci said. "I really should be going. Do you know where I can find some tools?"_

" _Oh yeah, Tails's workshop," Sonic said. He stretched out an arm. "Come on, I'll take you there."_

" _No, I'll take her!"_

" _I will!"_

" _Guys, I don't think-"_

" _Alright, alright," Amy exclaimed. "We'll take you there_ and _carry your bike. Is that okay?"_

" _Nah, it's fine," Perci said. "I can still carry it."_

" _Oh no, we can't have that," Amy said, with all the sincerity of one of those Gogobas. She clapped her hands. "Come on boys, the lady's waiting."_

 _Perci opened her mouth, but it was too late. Sonic and Knuckles took one half of her bike each, and Amy too her good arm. "To Casa del Tails!" Knuckles declared, and began marching. Not walking, Perci noticed,_ marching _._

Casa del Tails? You mean The House of Tails? I thought this was a workshop.

 _Well, maybe it didn't matter. For better or worse, this trio seemed intent on sticking with her, and sometimes the best path was the one of least resistance._

" _I hope you appreciate this," she heard Amy whisper. "Honestly, in this day and age, I'd expect women to be a bit more independent."_

 _Key word on "sometimes."_

* * *

There was a battle going on. Perci was giving her story, but holding the fort against the bickering of Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy. At least that was the metaphor that came to Tails's mind, but it was one that he didn't dwell on any further. The story wouldn't become important until they reached his workshop, and even then, he felt like he was missing something. Something staring him right in the face. Something like…like…

* * *

" _Sticks?"_

 _Perci heard Sonic exclaim that as the quartet marched along the beach. Well, not marched, but walked. They had been marching, but thankfully a flock of seagulls distracted Knuckles long enough to give up that little game. Unfortunately, the greater game was still "get to the workshop, fix the bike, and get out of dodge," and it was a game that Perci didn't like playing considering that her fellow players were either idiots, arrogant twats, or girls with far too many chips on their shoulders. But as she saw a jungle badger running up to them, she wondered whether the game would end, or whether it would gain a fifth player. Either way, the badger, staring at them with wide eyes, dressed in a manner befitting a savage, screeched to a halt in front of them. Let out some kind of bird sound._

" _Nice to meet you," Perci said._

 _The badger screamed and ran off. Running as fast as her legs could carry her. Disappearing out of sight, but not out of sound._

" _She seems nice," Perci said._

* * *

"But I thought Sticks was talking about robots."

"No, it was about aliens."

"Could it be alien robots?"

"Or robot aliens?"

"There's no such thing as a robot alien. And besides, she was talking about government agents."

"You-"

" _Anyway_ ," Perci said, getting the attention of the bickering trio. "We'd just arrived at the workshop, when-"

* * *

" _Anyone home?" Perci asked as she walked in. There was no answer. Only the sound of a pop followed by an electrical buzz. "Guess not."_

 _She wasn't completely on-board with using someone's tools without their permission, but she'd board that train sooner than keep on this one. All she had to do was make sure this train's passengers didn't follow her. So in the doorway, she turned to her 'rescuers.'_

" _So, yeah. Thanks for the help. But I'll just get to fixing my bike."_

 _They didn't say anything, not to her at least. Sonic and Knuckles were arguing about pirates (or mermaids, she wasn't sure), and Amy was muttering something about sirens. Maybe there was a good story there that was at least Internet worthy, but she decided to leave them to it. After un-slinging her arm, she put both parts of her bike onto a work bench (which Knuckles allowed her to take, so focused he was on the finer points of maritime mythology), picked up a welding laser, and-_

" _Allow me."_

Oh son of a-

 _Sonic had grabbed it. He'd come in, and Knuckles and Amy had followed._

" _You just sit back and relax while Sonic saves the day."_

 _He began fixing the bike. "Fine," she sighed, walking away. "I'll just wash my scarf." Taking it in her hand, she-_

" _Please, the honour is all mine," Knuckles declared, taking it in hand and putting it to his chest as if it were a sash. But he at least started dabbing it in a bucket of water._

" _Okay," said Perci slowly. "I'll just rest my arm."_

" _Alright, alright, I'll get you a heating pad," Amy exclaimed. She headed over to a cupboard. "Talk about a drama queen…"_

But I didn't ask for-

" _Would you like a pillow?"_

 _Perci looked at Knuckles, who'd put her scarf in a kiln. For some reason, there was a pillow in a workshop, and for some reason, he was offering her one._

" _No thanks, I-"_

" _No, I'll give Perci the pillow!" Sonic yelled. He ran over, dropping the welding laser. Perci tried to make her way to turn it off while the two boys engaged in a pillow fight, but-_

" _Oh now the princess wants a pillow," Amy snapped, tossing the heating pad in her hands into a pile of old newspapers._

You didn't turn it on did you?

 _Amy, Knuckles, and Sonic wrestled over the pillow. Perci's eyes drifted to the welding laser, then the heating pad, then the kiln, then the fire, then the-_

Fire!

 _Fire. It was consuming the workshop, and she couldn't even identify the source. She ran for a fire extinguisher while Sonic screamed, Amy cursed, and Knuckles said something about ice breath. All she had to do was find out where it had started, and-_

* * *

"Hold it!"

All eyes turned to Tails. Eight, still sooted eyes.

"How'd you guys even get in here in the first place?"

"We just walked in," said Perci.

"And there weren't any lasers or cages or anything like that?"

"Nope," said Sonic. "Just a popping sound…"

"…and some electrical buzzing," Amy added.

Tails sighed – the thing that had been bothering him, the thing that had been staring him in the face for four whole stories…he'd finally seen it. He'd been so intent on listening that he hadn't been looking.

"I know what happened," he sighed. "My new defence system must have short-circuited. Which means…" He paused, lowering his eyes to the ground. "That _I'm_ the one responsible for the fire."

Silence engulfed him. Deafened him. Consumed him.

"Classic Tails," said Knuckles. "So irresponsible. Guess we're off the hook."

Luckily silence only did all that for a second or two.

"Who's up for Meh Burger?" Amy asked.

Sonic let out a whoop, and led the trio out of the workshop. Sixty percent of Team Sonic were on lunch break, twenty percent of Team Sonic was left in the workshop, and Sticks…Tails had no idea. Possibly still running around on the beach screaming about robots, aliens, and government agents.

"I should get going too."

"Hmm?" Tails looked at Perci, who had headed for her bike. Still on a table beside a welding laser.

"Sorry about all the trouble," she added.

"Hey, it's no problem." Tails walked up. "Come on, let me fix it."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I'll have to clear up all my workshop in a bit, fixing a bike is nothing."

"Oh. Well. Thanks." Perci took a seat at the end of the table while Tails got a welding mask. He turned on the laser and began to get to work.

"Nice job," Perci said. "I like a man who's handy."

Through the mask's visor, Tails saw her blink at him twice. Taking it off and deactivating the torch, he looked into those blue eyes of hers. Those big eyes…staring at him…just like Zooey did…and…wait, was it hot in here?

A fire in his workshop?

 **The End**

* * *

 _A/N_

 _So...yeah. That's that._ _Thanks to those who reviewed. On that subject, I want to give a special thank you to supercode, who's kept reviewing even while I've let my own reviewing fall on the wayside. Want to state here that I don't intend to stop reviewing other fics on this site, but as anyone who's followed me can tell, my writing patterns have altered a bit. Basically, working more, but have less time to write and review. I've actually got a poll on my profile page at this time of writing that I'd be interested in getting feedback on, as my real life situation is very different now than when I first started on this site 12 years ago, so I'm trying to find the sweet spot between shorter oneshots/poems and longer multi-chapters._

 _But anyway, as I mentioned earlier on,_ The Birds and the Bandicoots _is meant to be a sequel to this story, with me writing this story serving as an extension of the idea, and giving me some practice with the characters. That said, BatB is quite a ways away, so don't count on it anytime soon. Far as shameless plugging goes, I'm currently writing a_ StarCraft _story titled_ Stewardship _. So, um, yay._


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